


Personal Assistance.

by LoganThrives (LadyAnatares)



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Crack, Don't copy to another site, Fluff and Humor, Logan is genderfluid, Luci's an asshole again, Multi, Obsessive Behavior, One-Sided Attraction, POV Second Person, Possessive Behavior, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert, Suggestive Themes, at least at first, non-consentual pact, nudity??, possibly???, pronouns will change from time to time, sorry luci stans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24704029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAnatares/pseuds/LoganThrives
Summary: Right before she's sent home after her year at RAD, Lucifer asks Diavolo if he can hire Logan as his personal assistant to help him with his affairs around the House of Lamentation. The naturally stubborn and rebellious Logan is NOT happy about this.This is an AU thing and not directly related to my main fic, The Devil You Don't. Logan is a genderfluid OC so pronouns will change throughout the fic (usually announced as having a 'boy' or 'girl' day or by a character asking for pronouns directly).****I don't have an update schedule, it's just whenever the chapters are done! Please subscribe to get notified about new chapters, and please don't comment asking for more, it can stress me out!****
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Chraracter(s), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. A Job Offer?

“Well, bye guys,” you wave half-heartedly. Barbatos and Diavolo are preparing the circle to send you back to your home in the human world, in a reverse fashion as to how you were summoned to RAD in the first place. “I’ll keep in touch on the D.D.D. Make sure you come and visit me, alright?”

“I’ll be there every day that I can be,” Belphie nods, determined.

“I don’t think we’ve ever asked what’s waiting for you back home,” Satan frowns.

“Do ya have anyone missin’ you there?” Mammon flushes, looking away. “Like… A r-relationship or somethin’…?”

You shake your head no. “Nope, it’s just me, my house, and… Oh damn, I guess I’ll have to go job hunting again real soon now that the program is over,” you sigh. “I don’t think Lord Diavolo’s paying my mortgage past today, after all.”

“… Lord Diavolo, before you return Logan to the human world, may I have a word with you?”

You’re slightly shocked that Lucifer would speak up at a time like this. You’re still more than a little pissed off at him for forcing you to make a pact with him, but thankfully you had Beel pull you out of there before things went any further. He really showed his true colours to you last night… His crazy psycho _possessive_ true colours.

“… It can’t wait?” Diavolo frowns.

“I’m afraid not,” Lucifer insists. “It’s a matter concerning Logan.”

… _What_ is he plotting _now?_ You’re filled with dread as the two men turn away to speak out in the hall.

“… What do you think that’s about?” Asmo pipes up.

“I don’t know,” Belphie shakes his head. “But maybe he’s found some way for Logan to stay with us?”

“I hope so,” Beel agrees.

“… Interesting,” Barbatos hums, amused.

* * *

“I would like to offer Logan a job.”

“This is a complete surprise to me, Lucifer,” the prince says, folding his arms. “But what brought this on? You know that it isn’t safe here for humans.”

“I will personally ensure her absolute safety in my care,” Lucifer insists. “You and I both know that Logan isn’t exactly thrilled to be going home, and I know she has petitioned you on several occasions to stay. My brothers and I don’t want her to leave, either. Our lives have been enriched by her in ways we couldn’t have imagined previously.”

“That is remarkably high praise coming from you,” Diavolo notes. “What sort of job would you offer her, then?”

“I would like Logan to become my personal assistant,” he smirks. “A secretary, someone I can rely on to help me keep my affairs in order and take care of minor personal tasks that I don’t have time for.”

“Have I been giving you too much work then?” the prince starts. “You know that if you have too much on your plate you can tell me. I can dial it back or reassign some of your tasks to others.”

That isn’t the message he wanted to get across. “On the contrary, my Lord, I have a fair amount of work. With Logan’s support I would be available to do more for you, the Devildom, and for the RAD student council.”

“Then, why Logan?” he presses again. “If you need to hire a personal assistant, I’m sure there are plenty of other demons able and willing to serve you in the capacity that you seem to require.”

Lucifer shakes his head in refusal. “I trust Logan, more so that I would another demon. Besides,” he adds with a sly smile. “It seems that Logan has made herself uniquely _invaluable_ for such a role.”

“How do you mean?”

“She gave me her pact last night,” he reveals. “Allowing me to summon her for her tasks. In addition to that, she has pacts over my six brothers, so I could call upon them through her. Since demons cannot make pacts with other demons, I would not be able to replace that ability with anyone else from the nine Hells.”

Diavolo is surprised at the news. “She made a pact with you? _Willingly?_ ”

“It was only fair, after she made pacts with the rest of my brothers,” he evades. It’s not an answer to the question nor a falsehood, so it should not flag Diavolo’s ability to tell when people are lying to him.

The prince frowns as he gives the request due consideration.

“… Please, Lord Diavolo,” Lucifer uncharacteristically begs. “Logan has brought so much excitement and pleasure to all of our lives. I know that she does not want to return to her old life in the human world, and my brothers and I would be overjoyed to have her remain at the House of Lamentation. And as I’ve said, I will _personally_ ensure her safety at all times.”

“… I have two conditions I must insist on,” Diavolo reveals. “First, if Logan agrees to your offer, then she will not be employed by you directly – she will work for _me_. I may also assign her some tasks of my own from time to time. Naturally, I will take on the responsibility of paying her a fair wage for her services as well as managing all the details of her employment.”

“That is very generous,” Lucifer admits. “And the second condition?”

“My second condition ties into the first,” he continues. “If Logan has any concerns about the arrangement or is made uncomfortable at any time, I will invite her to bring them to me for a resolution. You will _not_ discipline her, as her direct employer I will take on that responsibility, and should she wish to terminate the arrangement at any time, she is to come to me.”

Lucifer’s face falls slightly in response.

“Am I understood?” Diavolo asks. “I know you can be quite the disciplinarian, but humans are far more fragile than your six brothers, you know. If punishment is required then I want to ensure it is appropriate and befitting the crime.”

“… I accept both of your conditions,” Lucifer agrees.

“Great. Well then, let’s see if Logan accepts our offer,” he smiles, inviting Lucifer back into the summoning room.

* * *

“… _Excuse_ me??”

Okay, yeah, you’ve been wanting to stay here in the Devildom after the end of the RAD program, and you _have_ talked to Diavolo and Lucifer about it on several occasions, but this job offer? Sounds like an absolute _nightmare._

“It would allow you to stay here in the Devildom, if you cooperate,” Lucifer grins devilishly. “Isn’t that what you’ve been asking for since a few months ago?”

 _‘If you cooperate’_ – _Ooooh_ , you could hit him. You know from the sinister look in his crimson eyes that he’s implying that you can stick around only if you don’t rat him out for his forced pact on you to the Prince.

Talk about a rock and a hard place, though – staying in the Devildom is what you want, but if _this_ is the condition? You’re not sure you can accept. Honestly, you’re tempted to throw it back in his face just out of spite.

“… If you worked for Lucifer, you could stay?” Beel asks softly. “You should do it then, because I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet.”

“Me either,” Belphie adds. “Please stay with us, Logan.”

… And the twins just made this _so_ much harder to refuse. Your entire heart melts for them.

“I’d rather have Logan workin’ for _me!_ ” Mammon claims.

“And what _do_ you do all day, Mammon?” Satan calls him out immediately. “What sort of tasks could you give to Logan that would merit having her as your personal assistant?”

“You can’t even pay her, everyone knows you don’t have any money,” Asmodeus piles on.

“… I don’t want you to go,” Levi mumbles sadly. “If this would let you stay here, then you should do it!”

“While you would be working closely with Lucifer, you would actually be employed by me,” Diavolo reminds you.

That gives you some comfort, actually. If Lucifer becomes too much to handle you can just tattle on him to the Prince.

… And you _do_ know how stressed out Lucifer is all the time. Even if you don’t like him particularly well, he _does_ run the House of Lamentation entirely by himself on top of his myriad duties for the Prince.

And if it _would_ let you stay…

“… _Fine_ ,” you sigh, agreeing to the job offer. “But I have conditions of my own.”


	2. Uniformly Terrible.

“… _Really_.”

“Are you already rejecting your duties?” Lucifer challenges with a smirk.

“Wearing maid-themed _lingerie_ was _not_ part of what I agreed to,” you huff, folding your arms.

As soon as you’d gotten back to the House of Lamentation and before you could even unpack your things, Lucifer called you to his room to discuss your ‘uniform’. He already had it in his closet ready to go, you can’t help but notice. How long has he been plotting this whole scenario?

“Look,” you sigh. “If you’re serious about a uniform, I don’t mind wearing my RAD uniform again. That would be a fair compromise since I’ll probably have to be at school and stuff, don’t you think?”

He shakes his head. “It’s been less than five minutes and you are already refusing me,” he highlights dangerously. “Do I have to order you into wearing it?”

Is he talking about the pact? _Oooh_ , you could _kill_ him!

“You know what? Forget this,” you huff, taking out your D.D.D. and opening Diavolo’s contact. “I’m done.”

He sees what you’re doing and seethes. “ **Logan!** ”

You _freeze_.

You can’t move your body. Did he just _pact_ you??

… _Two can play at that game._

“ **Beel! Mammon!** ” The two brothers appear as you call their names to summon them.

“ _What!?_ ” Lucifer hisses.

“Huh?” Beel blinks. “Logan, is everything-?“

“ **Grab Lucifer and pin him, Beel!** ” you command. “ **Mammon, cover Lucifer’s mouth!** ”

They launch at the eldest brother as they’re compelled to follow your orders. Sufficiently restrained and unable to speak to give you any orders, you can move your body again. You dial the Devildom Prince.

“Mmfph!” Lucifer strangles, shifting into demon form.

“Sorry, can’t hear you Luci,” you dismiss him. “Hi, Diavolo? _I quit_.”

* * *

“Would anyone care to explain why it’s been less than an hour and Logan already wants to quit?”

“ _Gladly_ , Lord Diavolo,” you start, infuriated.

“Logan-“ Lucifer starts.

“Within minutes of getting back to the House of Lamentation, Lucifer dragged me to his room to try and force me to wear _this_ ,” you charge ahead, tossing the outfit onto the Prince’s desk. “When I refused, he tried to use my pact with him against me to force the issue.”

Diavolo blinks, holding it up and blushing. “Lucifer, I can’t help but agree with Logan. Although _charming_ , this isn’t appropriate as a uniform. If you wanted Logan to wear a uniform then you should have told me.”

“Lord Diavolo,” Lucifer starts. “My understanding of our agreement was that Logan would be working for me,” he grumbles.

“I’m not going to agree to forcing her to wear something inappropriate,” he refuses. “You ought to have known that.”

“And using my pact against me?” you point out. “That _was_ one of my conditions – no pact summoning unless I consent to it beforehand.”

“I didn’t summon you,” he smirks. “You were already in my room.”

“That still counts! I was _paralyzed!_ ”

“Your human world snack, my Lord.”

“Ah, thank you Barbatos.”

“You agreed to be my assistant,” Lucifer points out. “That means you obey my orders whether you like it or not!”

“I agreed to be your _assistant_ not your _slave!_ ” you shout at him. “I maintain my autonomy in any job I work. That _includes_ working for an insufferable _jackass_ like _you!_ ”

“Butter and salt?”

“Yes, but not too much.”

“I couldn’t let you return to the human world,” he fires back, aggrieved at the thought.

“ _Why?!_ ” you demand. “Sure, I didn’t _want_ to go, but I’m not just going to let you keep me like a _pet_ -“

“ _Because I **love** you!_”

Time freezes for a moment. Lucifer looks like he’s alternating between wanting to claw the words back and swallow them, and wanting to bend your back over Diavolo’s desk. You’ve got a bubble of righteous indignation stuck in your throat, and Diavolo’s hand is frozen by his mouth, fluffy white kernels clutched in his large fingers.

“… There, I said it. Satisfied?” he demands.

“Don’t just _say_ something like that!” you shout at him. “I don’t even _like_ you! And **_love_??** I don’t think you even know the _meaning_ of that word!”

“I know the meaning of the word,” he insists harshly.

“As if! You say you love your brothers, yet you constantly scold and torture them for minor things!” you fire back. “Remember how Belphegor spent nearly a year in an attic??”

“It was to _protect_ him!”

“From _what?_ The truth about Lilith? The one thing you could have told him thousands of years ago instead of letting him simmer on hatred for humanity?”

Lucifer is aghast. “He _killed_ you, why are you _defending_ him!?”

“Because he never would’ve killed _anyone_ if you’d just told him the truth from the start,” you lecture him.

“This is irrelevant when it comes to my feelings for you,” he grimaces, holding his head as if in pain.

“Well I don’t want your love. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Then maybe you should have considered that before making your _pact!_ ”

“I didn’t _give_ you my pact!” you snap back. “I didn’t give you _anything!_ You _stole_ that from me!”

“… I’ve heard enough.”

Diavolo stands from his desk, setting the bowl of popcorn aside as he leans against it on his fists. Lucifer turns to him in slight shock.

“Lucifer,” he sighs. “It’s clear that Logan’s protest runs deeper than just the uniform. So here is what’s going to happen next; First, Barbatos and I will forcibly break your pact over Logan, then, Logan will be returned to her home in the human world as originally planned.”

The Morningstar looks stricken at the news, but quickly tries to compose himself. “Lord Diavolo, if I may-“

“You may not,” he declares. “This isn’t up for debate. Logan has announced that she has quit, and I intend to honour that.”

“… Thank you, Lord Diavolo,” you sigh, relieved.

“You’re welcome,” he says softly. “Now, return to the House of Lamentation and get your things.”

“… She will need an escort-“ Lucifer attempts.

“She knows the way,” Diavolo cuts him off. “And it seems like you and I need to have a discussion about pacts.”

* * *

“What did he do?”

Belphie lets himself into your room as you pack your things back into your suitcases. You wipe at your eyes before turning to him.

“Beel said you summoned him to restrain Lucifer,” he points out, then notices your tears. “Hey, are you okay?”

“… Fine,” you lie. “The job didn’t work out, that’s all.”

“No, that’s not all,” he sighs, holding out his arms. “Come here.”

You get up from the floor and wrap your arms around him, accepting his hug. He rubs your back and soothes you, shushing you gently and kissing into your hair as you work through a sob.

“… I didn’t want to leave,” you tell him softly.

“Would it help if I came with you?” he offers gently.

You pull away and wipe your face on your sleeves. “Can you do that??” you ask. “Is that like, allowed?”

“Why not? I don’t want to be here either most days, and I think I’d rather be where you are,” he smiles, wiping at the corner of your eye.

“But, Lord Diavolo-“

“I don’t care what he thinks,” he scoffs irritably.

“I just mean he might stop you,” you shrug.

“Let him try.”

“Belphie, _no_ ,” you scold him.

He grins as you get a worried expression on your face, then leans in to kiss you.

… And then stops short, pressing a finger against your lips. You make an irritated sound at him and he laughs.

“Just tell me one thing,” he frowns. “Not that I’m jealous, but why summon Mammon and Beel instead of me? I thought I told you that I want to be the first you call on when you need help.”

“… I needed someone strong enough to restrain him and someone fast enough to cover his mouth,” you admit, glancing away. “I wasn’t trying to play favourites… You would have been next, along with Satan probably, if I needed any more support than that.”

You just weren’t sure you wanted them in the room yet, because those two would be the most likely to try and _kill_ him for what he tried. You don’t want any more conflict for his family, not even if it means them all turning on Lucifer.

“Why’d you need someone to cover his mouth?” he notices, frowning. “Did he-“

“It doesn’t matter now,” you deflect.

“It matters to me. What did he do?”

“… Belphie can we just not talk about it? Please?”

“… Fine,” he says, and you squeeze him in another hug. “Let’s get your things packed, alright?”

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm definitely pushing the limits of his character a bit here but you can't have growth without conflict or someone making some mistakes.
> 
> Also yeah I still resent him for the forced pact thing.


	3. How to Apologize.

The severing ceremony to remove Lucifer of your pact had left him practically bedridden for three days afterwards, only allowing him to continue working on reports and paperwork for Diavolo, the quantity of which had now tripled for his misdeeds.

… Why was he so certain that you had wanted the pact? Had his feelings for you made him blind?

Maybe he can get some insight on your feelings if he visits you in the human world. He has to come see you anyways – Lord Diavolo has required him to apologize for forcing the pact on you as part of his repentance. He feels that the Prince may be going easy on him intentionally because of their friendship and for how much work he takes on for him.

Taking a steadying breath, he reaches with a gloved hand to knock on the front door of your house.

… Only for it to swing inwards and away from him, with you standing there agog. You’re dressed in a simple lavender blouse and black slacks with your hair done up and a pair of glasses he’s never seen you wear before.

“… Roses??” you blurt out. Then you look over the top of the massive bouquet, and sigh when you see it’s him. “Lucifer, what are you doing here?”

“I came to apologize,” he says, voice steady. “May I come in?”

You look past him for a moment at the road. “It’s a bad time. I’m supposed to be heading to a job interview right now,” you fret. “But-“

He turns and sees a city bus turn onto the small street, zipping past as you curse under your breath at it.

“There goes my ride,” you sigh. “Fine, you might as well get in here then – it’s half an hour for the next one so now I have to cancel.”

* * *

After calling the place you were interviewing at to say a family emergency came up and you’ll have to reschedule, you turn on the water in your kitchen sink, getting out sharp knife and a large vase for the frankly _ridiculous_ amount of red longstem roses Lucifer has just burdened you with.

“Do you like them?” Lucifer ventures.

“Roses? Not really,” you shrug. “These flowers are a huge hassle. I worked in a flower store from when I was a teenager into my twenties, and I always hated these ones the most,” you say. You wince as a thorn from one stabs your wet hands as you trim the stems under the running water before placing them in the vase.

“The woman at the shop recommended them,” he frowns. “Was I misled?”

“Oh, well?” you think. “Not really? Roses _are_ expensive and definitely highly sought after, I’m just uniquely burdened with the memories of many long nights of soggy hands and getting stabbed by thorns or knives as I try to cut them. They’re just a giant pain in the ass.”

“They must remind you of me, then,” he sighs.

You whirl around and look up at him. “Oh, sorry. I don’t mean to throw your gift back into your face,” you fret, biting your lip. Now you feel like a bit of an ass, complaining about the flowers he got for you in front of him. “Actually, thank you Lucifer, for getting them for me. They’re good quality and will make my kitchen smell really nice for a few days.”

He smiles faintly, seemingly placated by your thanks.

“In the future, though?” you add. “If you want to get me roses, I like the purple ones the best. They’re very fragrant. Or fire and ice roses, though I heard they stopped breeding them years ago. If you ever found either of those, I wouldn’t complain so much about them,” you reveal with a grin. “Failing that though? Just regular poms and carns would be fine – that’s chrysanthemums and carnations – they last a really long time, smell great, and you’d probably have saved yourself at least fifty dollars or more.”

“You can even tell how much I spent on them?” he observes, surprised.

“I mean, yeah? It’s just an estimate, each shop is different. You know, you can take the girl out of the flower shop, but…” you chuckle.

Finishing up with the flowers, you wash your hands really well with dish soap to take out any remaining fragments of thorns from your skin, then dry them on a hanging towel.

“So,” you begin awkwardly. “What did you want, Lucifer?”

“I wanted to apologize for my behaviour the other day,” he begins.

“Which behaviour, and which day?” you clarify, folding your arms and leaning against the counter.

He furrows his brows irritably. “I think you know,” he challenges.

“I really don’t,” you insist. “So you’re going to have to clarify for me. Are you apologizing for the uniform, for the spat we got into in Diavolo’s study, for the pact? Which part?”

He hesitates as he thinks it over, face twisted in a grimace.

“Look,” you say, shifting your weight. “If there’s _one_ thing I’ve learned in life, it’s to never trust someone who doesn’t know how to apologize properly. So, if we’re going to have _any_ kind of relationship – friendship, whatever – you’re going to have to do better than a vague apology and some flowers.”

“Did _Belphegor_ apologize?” he demands curtly.

“A thousand times over, actually,” you reveal. “Sometimes mid-sentence when we were talking about something else. It was actually a bit awkward for a while, because I almost felt like _I_ should apologize with how often he was apologizing to me.”

He deflates a bit at that.

“I don’t know what you think I’m asking for here, but I’m not trying some power play to make you feel lesser or anything,” you say softly, trying to be conscious of his Pride. “If you’re saying you’re sorry, then all I want to know is what you’re apologizing for so I know that you’re really sincere about it.”

His expression goes through several emotions as he’s clearly thinking it over, parsing it in his brain. Finally, he lets out a long sigh.

“… I apologize for the way that I treated you, when… When I suggested the uniform,” he finally rumbles out begrudgingly.

Your eyes widen in surprise. “That’s a good start,” you admit. “Why did you do that, anyways?”

“… I suppose I _was_ a bit enthusiastic about you having to follow my orders, for once,” he hums, glancing away with some colour in his face.

“Job or no job, you have to know that I was _never_ going to agree to that, right?” you chuckle.

“Speaking of a job, you are still looking for work?” he highlights.

You roll your eyes. “There aren’t any jobs in my field right now, so I’m just trying to get something in fast food to help mitigate my bills and expenses until I can figure out what else I can do.”

“Then, perhaps-“

“Logan, you’re still here? I thought you left for an interview-”

You both turn to see Belphegor in the doorway to your kitchen, wearing only his boxers with one of your brown bath towels draped over his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Belphie is my emotional support demon.


	4. BELPHEGOR?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for some mild misgendering.

Faster than you can think, Belphie shifts into his demon form and pulls you behind him protectively. He takes a stance as if ready to pounce at a moment’s notice.

“ ** _Belphegor??_** ” Lucifer bristles, his wings and horns coming out to play.

“Guys, _stop_ -“

“Don’t be afraid to summon my brothers if you need to, Logan,” Belphie insists firmly. “Whatever it takes to keep you safe from _him_.”

“He’s not a _threat_ -“

“ **What are _you_ doing here!?**” Lucifer demands, bristling at his youngest brother’s casual appearance in your house.

“ _Stop it!_ ” you yell out, gripping Belphie around his chest and pulling him away. “ _Both_ of you!”

Belphie shrugs you off and resumes his stance, turning his head just enough to see you. “How can you say that? After what he _did?_ ” he snarls.

“He came here to _apologize!_ ” you shout.

He’s surprised. “ _Lucifer_ did?”

“Yes, and he’s apologized, so if everyone could just _calm down_ -“

“What is he doing in your **_house_** , _Logan?_ ” Lucifer demands.

“He’s been helping me fix the place up in case I have to sell it!” you fire back. “He helped me with the yard this morning and I left him upstairs to take a nap.”

Lucifer blinks, backing off. “You might lose your home?” he mutters to himself.

“I was just about to message you when I heard your voice downstairs,” Belphie reveals, his demon traits slipping away from view. “What happened to your interview?”

“I was going to be late so I have to reschedule it,” you shrug. “Even if that’s a mark against me there will be other interviews, though. It was just some pizza place.”

“Ah, okay,” he nods. “I wanted to take a shower, but which bodywash should I use? There was a red one and a green one in there.”

“The green one, definitely,” you tell him. “That one’s mine. I didn’t even realize there was a red one still in there. Only use that one if you want to smell like my ex,” you grimace.

“No, I’d definitely rather smell like you,” he smirks.

“Flirt,” you grin.

“Tease,” he counters, chuckling.

Lucifer clears his throat, dragging your attention back to him. Belphie brings an arm up around your waist protectively.

“Would anyone care to explain why Belphegor is dressed the way he is?”

“Nothing happened, Lucifer,” you roll your eyes.

“Not for lack of trying,” Belphie teases you.

“Oh, _stop_ ,” you scold him. “He didn’t want to get his dirty clothes on my bed after all the work he did, plus it’s pretty humid upstairs, so I left him to sleep in his boxers. Speaking of, I should switch the laundry over to the dryer,” you remember. “Can I do that without you two killing each other for like five seconds?”

“That depends on him,” Belphie gestures to Lucifer, who has managed to calm down enough to put his demon form away.

You glance between the two of them, then sigh. “I’ll literally only be like two minutes. Don’t fight in my kitchen,” you warn. “My insurance doesn’t cover demon catfights if you destroy it. Also, I’ll summon the rest of the family as soon as I hear any fighting. Got it?”

“Fine,” Belphegor drawls.

Lucifer glances between the two of you, then reluctantly nods.

“Okay, be right back,” you say, opening the basement door and descending the stairs.

“Roses, huh?” Belphegor notes when he sees the vase on the counter. “You didn’t know that Logan hates roses?”

“You haven’t done anything inappropriate with Logan, have you?” Lucifer interrogates bitterly.

“Why, are you jealous?” Belphie challenges. “No, you don’t have the right to be jealous over Logan.”

“Excuse me?” Lucifer seethes. “And why is that?”

“The pact you _forced_ on him, of course.”

The eldest scowls in response. “So, Logan told you about that,” he notes.

“Oh, he didn’t tell me anything,” Belphie refutes. “But I figured it out pretty quick. What in the seven Hells is _wrong_ with you, anyways? If you can’t get people to do what you want you _enslave_ them??”

Lucifer bristles at the implication. “It was never my intention to make Logan my slave,” he insists.

“Well, your _actions_ tell a different story,” he scoffs. “What _is_ it with you? You think you can treat Logan like trash just because he’s human?”

“No, I- I _care_ for Logan,” he attempts. “You know that.”

“Well, you sure have a funny way of _showing_ it,” his brother sighs. “If you really cared, you would just leave him alone already.”

“… Why do you keep saying ‘him?’” Lucifer notices absently. “Logan is dressed rather femininely today.”

“Job interviews,” Belphie explains. “He said he doesn’t want to ‘out’ himself to a new employer right away, and Logan still has a very feminine figure in spite of himself. So, Logan dressed fem today because it’s ‘just what people expect,’ he said.”

“And the glasses?”

“I just learned about that too, actually,” the younger brother notes. “They’re prescription, but he hates wearing them. He only wears them when trying to impress new people, he thinks they make him look smarter or something. They were left behind when he got dragged to RAD, that’s why he was always sitting near the front of his classes and why he’d squint at things far away.”

Lucifer never even noticed you had trouble with your vision.

“Anyways, are you leaving or what?” Belphegor insists. “I can’t take a shower if _you’re_ lurking around.”

“I wanted to ask Logan something,” Lucifer states openly. “If he was so opposed to my pact and working for me, why did he accept my job offer?”

“Because I genuinely thought you needed the help.”

You climb the last couple of steps out of the basement, shutting the door behind you. When you didn’t hear a fight break out upstairs, you stole a moment to change into some boy clothes instead of what you wore for an interview you’re no longer going to. Comfy in a geeky t-shirt and some plaid pajama pants and having left your glasses downstairs, you survey the damage.

“Well, at least my kitchen’s in one piece,” you sigh, relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, my androgynous ass does this too - as much as I'd like to rock a dress shirt and tie, I know that new people expect someone with a female figure to dress rather femininely, sooo that's how I present myself in job interviews. *shrug*
> 
> The _real_ trick is finding tops that fit and aren't too showy, because my enormous boobs didn't exactly retract back into my body when I came out XD


	5. Dealing with the Devil.

“I thought it was because you wanted to stay?” Belphie asks.

You offer Lucifer a soda as you’ve managed to get the two of them to move to the livingroom, and he takes it in a hand curiously, reading the label. You offer another to Belphie but he holds up a hand to decline.

“Yeah, of _course_ I wanted to stay,” you say, flopping into the centre seat between them. “But I also know how tired and overworked Lucifer is all the time. I’m not _blind_.”

“If you protested the pact, then why accept my offer?” Lucifer asks.

“I wasn’t sure whether you would try and take advantage of it or not,” you say, cracking open the remaining soda and taking a sip. “You answered _that_ one for me pretty quick.”

He grumbles at that, but otherwise remains silent.

“Anyways, that’s all behind us now,” you sigh, standing from the couch. “Belphie, are you going to take that shower?”

“Not if _he’s_ lurking around,” he insists.

“Then if my presence is contributing to my brother’s continued _indecency_ around you,” Lucifer drawls irritably. “Then perhaps I should get to my other reason for my visit, so that he may shower and get dressed finally.”

“What other reason for your visit?” you ask, perplexed.

“Logan, I want you… No, I _need_ you to come work for me.”

You nearly spit out your soda.

“… _What._ ”

“Are you _crazy?_ ” Belphie rightly asks, seething on the other side of you.

“I won’t enforce a uniform this time,” he bargains. “And I have been thoroughly removed of your pact, so I hold no such power over you. All of your conditions you set with your original offer from Diavolo would remain, plus we can discuss any additional concessions you need. And-”

You groan irritably at the demon seated next to you, turning towards him as you get ready to verbally tear him a new one. “Lucifer, I think you already know my answer to th-“

“-I would pay you **double**.”

Your words die in your throat.

“… Please, Logan,” Lucifer insists, face softening as you’re forced to give his request serious consideration. “Don’t make me beg.”

“Don’t fall for it, Logan,” Belphie says behind you, gripping your shoulder protectively.

“Stay out of this, Belphie,” Lucifer growls.

“Like _hell_ ,” he retorts scathingly.

“… Lucifer, I think you should go,” you say weakly.

“But-“

“Let me at least think about it this time??” you insist. “This is the second time in less than a _week_ that you’ve dropped a job offer on my lap out of the blue. So I just want to have a chance to _think_ about it.”

“… Very well, then,” he nods, standing from the couch. “I suppose you can message me your response when you’re ready, as you still have your D.D.D.”

“I will,” you say, crossing your arms. “Don’t get pissy if it’s a no, though,” you warn.

He frowns at that, but nods in understanding. “I will look forward to your response, then.”

* * *

“You should have joined me,” Belphie teases you, flopping onto the bed next on his stomach next to you, now showered and fully dressed. His wet hair smacks into the side of your face and you swat at him.

“Oh, _stop_ ,” you chuckle.

“Any luck with the job search?” he asks.

“I mean, no more so than this morning?” you answer, scrolling through your search and sighing. “There’s a bakery job that might work for me, but it’s only part-time. I’d still have to get something else to supplement it and working two jobs at once is hell.”

“Anything I could do, then?” he suggests, looking over your shoulder.

You turn to arch an eyebrow at him. “You want a part-time human world job too?” you ask, confused.

“Well yeah, because I want to help you,” he answers simply, leaning in and kissing your ear. “I figured I’d move in and help you keep the bills paid, if you want me to.”

“You want to _move in_ with me?” you ask, stunned.

“I mean, eventually I want to _marry_ you, but one thing at a time,” he grins into your cheek, nuzzling you.

“Your hair is _soaking wet_ ,” you laugh, pulling away and wiping at the wetness left behind on your face. “Did you not towel off your hair too or whatever?”

“Well you only gave me the one towel.”

“You could have used it for your hair too!” you complain.

“Naw. This is _way_ more fun,” he smirks, rolling his sopping wet hair all over your neck and shoulder.

You roll away from him onto your back, making a disgusted noise as you try and wipe yourself off on your shirt. The troublemaker follows you though, hooking his knee between your legs and rolling half on top of you.

“I am going to tickle you to _death_ at this rate, mister!” you warn, holding his shoulders back so his wet hair can’t get you.

“What do you say?” he asks, serious all of a sudden.

“About what?”

“About me moving in,” he suggests again.

“What about Beel?” you ask.

He shrugs. “He can move in too. But he can’t share the bed with us, it’s just not big enough. But none of my other brothers can – it should just be the three of us.”

“Belphie, you’re sweet,” you say, taking his face in your hands. “I don’t know that you’d be very happy here though.”

“Of course I would be. You’re here. That’s all I need,” he insists.

“My house is small, old, and it needs a _lot_ of work,” you point out. “And you can’t get Devildom food here, obviously – just human world food. And, well, this place is very expensive to maintain.”

“We’ll make it work,” he says, leaning down and kissing your nose. You brush his thick, soaking wet hair out of the way so it doesn’t get on you again. “I’ll get a job. I’ll get _ten_ jobs. Whatever it takes.”

“… That’s the other thing,” you frown. “I _mean_ it when I say this place is expensive. Thinking about it, I’m not really sure that even if we _both_ worked full-time at like a pizza place or something else minimum-wage that we could cover everything I need to pay for in a month.”

He blinks at that. “Why, how much would we need to make?”

“Just to pay the household bills – mortgage, utilities, property taxes and insurance – costs about $2200 per month. That’s not counting Internet, our phones, groceries, and anything else we might have to buy. Oh, and then there’s my debt,” you frown. “In order to just keep it in good standing, I need to pay like $500 a month. That’s not even going to make a dent in paying it off, either. That’s mostly just interest.”

“Ye _ouch_ ,” he comments. “And we can’t make enough between the two of us? Are you sure?”

“… We’d work ourselves half to death and never get to see each other if we tried, I think,” you say, frowning. “In order to have a house like this, you need one person with a really _good_ job, or at least a couple of people with decent jobs. That’s how I was able to buy it with my ex in the first place.”

“… So, what’s the plan then?” he asks tentatively. “Sell it?”

You shake your head. “You’re not going to like it.”

“… You’re thinking about taking Lucifer’s offer, aren’t you?” he seethes.

You sigh. “I don’t _love_ the idea, but I think I love the human world even less these days. I’d rather be back in the Devildom with you and the rest of your brothers.”

“Are you serious??” he demands, irritated. “It’s _not_ worth it. Not after what he tried. We can figure something else out, can’t we?”

“I don’t know that we can,” you frown. “But the original deal would have covered all of my expenses with a generous buffer, and Lucifer _did_ just offer to double it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love domestic Belphie okay?? Boyo would move heaven and earth for his human.

**Author's Note:**

> Lucifer's a snake in this. Now to decide exactly how bad he's going to be about having Logan following his orders... I dunno, I just wanted to torture my OC a bit I guess XD
> 
> For more info on how the pact was made, check out [chapter 6 of my The Devil You Don't fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209051/chapters/55614598) \- while the fics are not related, that's basically the canon background for this and why she hates his guts so much. **Please mind the trigger warnings at the top.**
> 
> Also not sure how long this'll be, but not a full scale longfic like TDYD for sure. Maybe about the same length of Logan's Fight or slightly longer. We'll see when we get there.


End file.
